Raining Too Many Thoughts

It's raining. I love rain. We went on a walk today. And talked a little bit about fractions. It was mostly that I just needed to get out of the classroom and move. Some of my boys thought it would be funny to run off. I ignored them for a while, after asking them to join us, once. Mostly it's just that they want attention. Anyway, we finished up with the walk and I pulled those boys aside and had a chat with them. I don't know what it is about them thinking they can just DO that sort of stuff. It really sort of made me cranky and, hurt my feelings to be honest. We talked about some things and I hope they understand that kind of behavior is not acceptable and never was.
I wrote a paper yesterday and this morning. Man are my writing skills out of practice. I've been doing short works, mostly of poetry and this, whatever I'm thinking about at the current moment. Not really something for an assignment or specific deadline. It turned out alright but I know I've certainly done better.
I had someone ask today if I was dating a guy they'd seen me walking with recently. Which made me sad. For a couple of reasons. One, that I couldn't just honestly answer the question with a no. It had to be a "well... things are really complicated so yes and no, more no than yes though" How's that for a completely crappy answer?
Another reason it made me sad is that while things are not supposed to be there between us, I guess I'm still doing things that make it look like we really aren't apart. It doesn't help that most people heard about 'us' being together after we'd already broken up. I don't know. It just sucks. I still have had my students refer to him as my boyfriend, and I don't bother correcting them. Don't ask me why. Maybe just because it's easier that way. But then again, it's not right.
I don't know, I'm just really, I've been thinking about it a lot. I should stop. It's not helping my mood and really just makes my brain hurt. I don't understand. I relate it sort of like I've hit up against this wall. And I keep pacing up and down it, not finding the way to the answer on the other side. I know it's there, whatever the answer is, but I'm not getting there.
Just saddening and frustrating a little bit you know?