Wordless Conversations

So really, human moments are not my favorite. I love getting over them, and learning what it is they have to teach, but I don't particularly care for the way they kind of kick you where it hurts. Going through a lot of those.... I didn't used to. I used to have life down, and it was perfect, I was perfect. Ok, not really, but the illusion was easier to keep up. Now, not so much. Now I struggle with emotions and feelings that shouldn't be there. Stupid actions resulting from lack of self-control and ill-judged situations. And I can't exactly just pretend it all away again. Which is good. It's a good thing really.
I learn a lot more this way, it just also hurts a lot more this way too. Pride is something we all have, and I have an ample amount. Temper at someone who is doing things 'wrong' or criticizing a weakness I have. That is a huge one. Learning to accept feedback, whether helpfully, or destructively meant. I tend to ramble on and finish other people's sentences for them because I think I know what they are going to say and they are just taking too long to say it. Haha. Bad tendency. One that I need to fix. I am slowly relearning the blessing and need there is to just not say anything at all sometimes.
You can learn a lot from just shutting your mouth. One, how much idle chatter really is most of all we say throughout the day. Two, who you really are. Processing the thoughts before they just Come out of your mouth, is not exactly something for the weak.
I will tell you one thing I miss a lot, that sucks so bad about missing my best friends. The way we can just sit there, not saying anything, and completely not need to. We read each other's thoughts enough to not need to. But it's more than that. We just have enough, to just be there, that is enough. To know that they are there, is all we have needed. Sometimes conversation just isn't needed. Silence is though.
Reminds me of another funny quirk about being a girl with a best friend on a double date. Courtney and I would often have completely separate conversations with only about three spoken words, the poor guys were so clueless. It was awesome.