Dreaming

Oh my goodness, I just need to write. Something. Before I explode or something.
This weekend has been a dream. Really truthfully, it's been so wonderful and amazing. But then again, just like every dream, they have to end sometime. This dream though, even when I knew it would have to end, even while I realized that everyday life had to come sometime- I want, some part of me wants, for it to become reality again. It was once... and it feels so natural to have him there. Not odd or weird at all- we are still finishing each others sentences for heaven sake! And knowing just when the other had something to say.
We have this joke that with us, things that would normally be weird with any other person, between us, it's all just almost weird. But never quite all the way.
Last night when I took him home he sat there in the car, not getting out. I turned down the radio, and he just laughed and said "You knew I had something to say didn't you?" Well yes. I know him so well it's almost creepy. Again- almost. We talked about things- why, why after all this time still every time we're near each other, it's like we'd never been apart, and yet, we are. We know why we are, it's just the question of why feelings are still so strong. Why after all, through everything, and in spite of all opposition, we still love the other person.
How he can look at me and I not want to move because there might be the chance the moment will be broken, how he can tell my thoughts and the way he smiles, and interacts with others, and I notice these things, even from across the room. How he can make me feel beautiful simply by commenting on some simple action. His insight, his strength and wisdom. These are the reasons I still love him. But even if I didn't have a reason not to, I think I still would.
It reminds me of the song by Emerson Drive that says "only God could stop me loving you"
So we talked about that, and how things can't change from where they are between us now, but that we'd both do what God wanted for us, whether that be for us to be together, or apart.
And that reassures me. It's in God's hands. We are. My life is. I gave it to Him. So now, I do what it is that I know I need to do, and the rest is up to God. I know that I am not supposed to be in a relationship right now. So I learn how to do things on my own. Like taking walks on my own, reading scriptures own, and growing on my own. With God.