Alone

I don't know what it is, but I don't like being alone. My aunt and her kids took off last night to go visit my uncle who is working out of town and my grandma and grandpa headed down to Utah this morning. Now, I know I'm not home all that much, but it bothers me and I feel awfully lonely just knowing they're gone. It's not like I don't have neighbors all around me or friends, but it's different. I guess I'm just used to having those I love always there. And I need to remember that they can't and won't always be there. I'm trying to be ok with it, and I will be, it's just weird...
I'm such a silly person sometimes- but really, it's hard sometimes, to realize that things are always choices. And I decide. I decide maybe not how something affects me, but what I do as a result of being affected. That is my decision. It's easy to just say, well there's only two different choices, one or the other. But that's not true. There is me. And I don't have to be defined by what I think are the only options. I don't have to be sad that I'm by myself, I can take this time, and just be by myself. Become friends with myself, get to know me better- instead of just knowing the me that everyone else thinks I am, who I am for them. I need to know who I am for me. So I think that's what I'll do while I'm alone.