Tears

While I, being the wonderful, amazing female God has created me to be, tends to shed more than a few of those things, I can honestly say I don't see men cry often.
I guess that's a good thing though because if they really were as emotionally swayed as we women, the world would be in Trouble.
The tears I shed today came from pain.
It's amazing to me how well the human body can handle pain, but there is eventually going to be a breaking point. And I hit another one of mine today.
I'm tired of hurting, and then feeling ok, like I might be healing more. And then start hurting again. I'm tired of the emotional toll and rollercoaster this pain has been.
I just want to be well! I just want to feel better about it all. I just want to know that my body isn't broken.
Somedays I feel broken. Somedays I'm just so tired of hoping and having those hopes swept aside by another mountain of pain. Having to climb that mountain again, slowly building up hope that next time.
Next time, is another chance to be whole and well.
I know that God has what's best in the big picture, in mind for me. I just can't quite see it all yet.
And sometimes it's hard to hold on.
Sometimes you just need to cry.